Matilda Windsor’s Twitter @MWiscominghome

  1. Snakes sometimes slither into the Garden of Eden. One can encounter unpleasantness even here. Despite my character and status, both staff and guests have described me in the foulest terms. Accused me of moral turpitude and delusions of grandeur. Labelled me schizophrenic and unreliable narrator. I follow my mother’s advice and let the words wash over me. Such terms reflect a deficit in the speaker’s education and manners. I know who I am. Do you?
  2. I’m Matty, don’t call me Matilda. Matilda tells such dreadful lies they make one gasp and stretch one’s eyes.
  3. When I was born, in 1919, my mother was already a widow. For the first twelve years of my life, we shared a bed in a rented room in a house with no bathroom or toilet. My humble roots have served me in good stead to endure the deprivations of wartime. With mankind as it is, it will always be wartime somewhere in the world.
  4. A tip for ladies short of cash: ascend the secret staircase and await the man with the hairy arms. While you await his arrival, recite “Jerusalem” or “Jabberwocky” to pass the time.
  5. When life serves you lemons, pour your mother a cup of Lapsang souchong and float a slice of citrus on top. Alas the maids at Ghyllside have yet to adopt this practice. Here we drink gallons of tea but it comes with the milk and sugar already added to the pot.
  6. I live in a grand house on a country estate, where I entertain my guests with parlour games and poetry. I am renowned throughout Cumbria for my recitals, and have won numerous awards.
  7. I usually have a paper bag of jelly babies somewhere about my person. Would you like one? A colourful sweet can revive one’s spirits when the shrimp-woman is at her most galling.
  8. Someone has placed a photograph on my bedside locker, showing a lady in a polka-dot dress hand-in-hand with a boy who has the Eiffel Tower perched on his head. I will require Mrs Christie’s Belgian detective to discover who put it there, and why.
  9. One must learn to tolerate journalists. Answering their questions is the price of fame. They swing between intrusive and tedious, and get flustered when I tell them my mother married a prince. At least they no longer ask about the parasite that passed so painfully through my body when I was nineteen.
  10. If you wish to read my memoir or arrange a recital, you can do so through my ghostwriter, Anne Goodwin, or my agent at Inspired Quill. Between you and me, I think Anne has delusions of grandeur. Her head has swollen alarmingly since I appointed her as my assistant.

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About the Author
Link tree
Janice, a young social worker, wants to set the world to rights, but she needs to tackle challenges closer to home.
Ten things about Matilda Windsor
Amazon UK:
Matilda Windsor link tree
Matilda Windsor webpage

YouTube: Anne Goodwin’s YouTube channel
Twitter @Annecdotist.
A brother and sister separated by decades of deceit. Will truth prevail over bigotry, or will the buried secret keep family apart?
From the back of the book
Inspired Quill:
Book links
Amazon US
In this, her third novel, Anne Goodwin has drawn on the language and landscapes of her native Cumbria and on the culture of long-stay psychiatric hospitals where she began her clinical psychology career.
Henry was only a boy when he waved goodbye to his glamorous grown-up sister; approaching sixty, his life is still on hold as he awaits her return.
My thanks to Anne at Random Things Tours for having me as part of the blogtour and of course to Anne Goodwin for allowing Matty to share her thoughts today.
In the dying days of the old asylums, three paths intersect.
Anne Goodwin grew up in the non-touristy part of Cumbria, where this novel is set. When she went to university ninety miles away, no-one could understand her accent. After nine years of studying, her first post on qualifying as a clinical psychologist was in a long-stay psychiatric hospital in the process of closing.
As a high-society hostess renowned for her recitals, Matty’s burden weighs heavily upon her, but she bears it with fortitude and grace.
Amazon US:
Her debut novel, Sugar and Snails, about a woman who has kept her past identity a secret for thirty years, was shortlisted for the 2016 Polari First Book Prize. Her second novel, Underneath, about a man who keeps a woman captive in his cellar, was published in 2017. Her short story collection, Becoming Someone, on the theme of identity, was published in November 2018. Subscribers to her newsletter can download a free e-book of prize-winning short stories.
Amazon UK
I have a most unusual #TenThings for you today. Anne Goodwin’s latest book is called Matilda Windsor is coming home. The character of Matty takes centre stage today and tells us #TenThings she’d like us to know about herself, although Anne does get a mention!
Author links
Matilda Windsor at Inspired Quill:

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